i can’t anymore.
it’s all i can ever think about.
had a great day yesterday…and it should have been perfect. it would have been, 5 years ago. why are things so different now? why do i have these blinders on? what is it that left me that i don’t feel this way anymore.
god fucking dammit. i feel so alone. the one person that loves me most in the world..the one person who is so caring, so sweet and so thoughtful.. how does love just go away? I don’t WANT to be this way. I want to be happy. I wanted it to be with him… how do I just tell him that I’m over US and we both need to move on. how do i even explain it to him if i can’t explain it to myself.
this. fucking. sucks. and i’m sure it will suck even more for him when i finally let out my little secret - that i know it’s not love anymore. i realize that the more time passes the harder it will be.. but this is hard for me to. i’m burdened with wondering when is the best time. is there one? is before the holidays better? would it be better after the new year… fucking fuckity fuck fuck. i just don’t… i just don’t know.
Lost. Confused. Fuck.
I just….don’t know ><
Rofl right now.
The first step toward getting better is cutting the negative…here we go!
Where’d it all go?
Those better times…
WHT? Who can remember.